I dont get it. I made solid attempts to boil all of my questions down to as much of a "Y" as possible. The Mental Health subreddit is the central forum to discuss, vent, support and share information about mental health, illness and wellness. Welcome! As a so-called normal person, youve always been leading a crazy life, you simply didnt notice it. For some reason I cant see any further comments, but thank you everyone for the support. for help, and on the part of those providing help. I agree with n00n, for those more experienced with the alternatives, they may have already ruled out all the possible X's, and now X is a constant, and they just want to solve for Y. You might get useful answers on how to get rid of pests, but no-one will be able to solve your problem because they're not addressing the source of the problem and the rats keep coming back. I feel like I'm becoming mentally unstable and I am going to break. I actually think people have come to believe the XY problem is always bad and not enough community effort is put into defending peoples right to ask highly specific questions without having their motives questioned. both of these changes happened in school. Me: (sigh) OK, I have an executable jar for a program that listens to a port and exchanges messages. Search our huge selection of new and used video games at fantastic prices at GameStop. Tennessee Department of Mental Health & Substance Abuse Services. I'm holding out that the other programmer centric SE sites don't so irreparably screwup like they did. it's night time right now so i'm hoping that this feeling is just a one day thing and that i'll feel better tomorrow. My brain is going a million miles an hour and my body won't stop moving. You don't know what you don't know. It only takes a minute to sign up. It's my experience that the the MCVE creates more XY problems not less. One year ago, I lost 30 pounds in 6 weeks and became extremely sick. What should I do when I want to add additional questions or scenario to my question? Me: Why couldn't you tell me that earlier? The good news is that if you are self-aware enough to have this thought, its not likely that you are actually losing your mind. 2021;39(4):356-368. doi:10.1177/08980101211015818. She completely blindsided me by saying she wasnt happy anymore and wanted to end things. Many people who experience panic attacks end up having several of them in a row, which can add to the feeling of feeling out of control, and like your mind is betraying you. Check out the latest breaking news videos and viral videos covering showbiz, sport, fashion, technology, and more from the Daily Mail and Mail on Sunday. Read transcript. Answer (1 of 14): I'm not into armchair psychology and I don't know why you feel you're going crazy, so my answer is going to be a bit generic. You didnt do any more than you currently remember. The wrong hypothesis is not self-evident, but when we simplify, we amplify the wrong effects, and it becomes more evident. If you say "That's going to be really hard. All of this can make us feel like we are losing it.. "I need to do Y because legacy/boss/old framework" then the question becomes easier to answer, and more valuable to all. Common treatments include: Again, most instances of I feel like Im losing my mind are simply a reaction to stress or an exacerbation of a mental health condition. We react to stimuli differently when we are in a state of heightened stress, and may flinch at sudden noises and generally feel on edge. Testing attribute self axis fails, Help us identify new roles for community members. and specify they wish to ask the question as it is and it can be accepted, for example. We can think in terms of some main situations: Rush situation: the wrong hypothesis is only a language or over-simplification side-effect, that can be corrected by the user with a little more attention, and investing more time editing the question. More posts from r/NarcissisticAbuse. Aiming for Y (taking a position) is aiming for a very specific and limited solution to the problem (X). 1 Grab this Vitamix blender while its $100 off its super powerful, plus it wont look hideously ugly on your countertop Don't wait to place your order. That is more of an assumption. the bigger picture, these people might find their way back to X and continue Great explanation. Stack Overflow's help/mcve rationale: "How to create a Minimal, Complete, and Verifiable Example", can be used to avoid the XY problem. I do not own this song. Watch game, team & player highlights, Fantasy football videos, NFL event coverage & more I'm remembering my past! Even though the OP probably needs something else, never neglect to answer the question they have actually asked first and not the question you think they want answered. Your situation is very treatable. A recent IRC conversation for illustration: Q: Is there a function to return a string between two delimiters? Like Im living in a dream like world. normal user: thinks that "there are two equivalent figures, the 'total triangles' in a perfect 135 grid", following with the question: expert user: think something like "oops, they are alike (close in shape), but not perfectly equivalent figures", following with the question: The clever geometry-expert thinks in terms of close in shape geometries. Press question mark to learn the rest of the keyboard shortcuts. Not sure. Test, check for inconsistencies, simulate the reader and review. WebFrom the worlds best designer fashion to emerging brands, open doors to 100.000+ styles on FARFETCH. Meditation: Get an app on your phone, plug in your headphones, and listeneven a few minutes will help. National Alliance on Mental Illness. These hormones also make our heart beat rapidly, and our breathing shallow. Let's hold language in comments to the same standard as posts. And then all of a sudden I started to think what if one day I remember something terrible? Antidepressant medications work to increase the levels of Serotonin in the brain. The normal user thinks, mistakenly, in terms of exact congruence. #WeStickTogether #MickeyFriendsStayTrue #lightingdesign #lightingprogrammer". Is it okay to dispute the premise of a question? But generally speaking I don't agree that pointing an asker towards that is noob-unfriendly as it might in fact be what he/she actually needs. Site design / logo 2022 Stack Exchange Inc; user contributions licensed under CC BY-SA. If you see the "cross", you're on the right track. Add a Comment. You are not going insane. I feel like I'm going insane. Read our. (as @Gnome noticed above, but using other words). how can such a young person lose themselves for virtually no reason at all? How many of us have ever tried to do something, just to see if we could? In some cases that answer may be "Y is not possible". Q: But I don't know how to parse Javascript with HTMLParser or whatever it's called. You can find help at a National Suicide Prevention Lifeline, USA: 18002738255 US Crisis textline: 741741 text HOME, Others: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_suicide_crisis_lines, uhm heyy i think u shld consider professional help but if u want someone to talk to m here please dont hesitate to approach me . Hmmmm, so you're saying that that is too specific a question and I should add that the "real" goal is to cure cancer. WebSun Belt and Rocky Mountain cities like Boise, Idaho, were at the forefront of home price growth in 2020 and 2021. Everything seems to be dull and i have problems with my vision too . University of Michigan Health Service. Usually, I do not want people to solve my problem, just answer my question. Ironically a lot of these bad answers and responses are given by those wanting to be the most helpful and can be given by some of the most reputable people on the forum / SO. That being said, dealing with this type of thought, and the feelings that go along with it, can be very challenging. This talk was presented to a local audience at TEDxPuget Sound, an independent event. about tips. Either way, anxiety and anxiety disorders can make us feel out of control, and can make us feel as though we are going crazy or losing our minds. I'd rather risk offending them to get to the correct solution than further contribute to both bad code and flawed logic. If you are dealing with symptoms of anxiety, panic, or depersonalization/derealization, it can be helpful to seek professional mental health help, particularly if your experience is intense, is interfering with your day-to-day life, or doesnt seem to respond well enough to self-care and other forms of stress relief. So this is WHY she left you. Create an account to follow your favorite communities and start taking part in conversations. So, the program reads its configuration from ../conf. J Holist Nurs. Anyone whose an avid reader, fan, or follower, of my space knows that I am in a sexual relationship not only with my wife, but my daughter as well. you know youve been programming for a while when the constant sound of a metro nome is playing in the back of your head as youre trying to go to sleep original sound - Dakota Robledo. how to recognise it? My brain is going a million miles an hour and my body won't stop moving. Anyone here running their own DNS server with some specific type of software for that very reason? Many of the symptoms are related to your stress response (fight or flight response) being triggered. Yeah the symptoms had been diminished a lot , But Ive been expericing new symptoms: Depersonalization and deralization nearlly every day. Sorry in advance. There were 2 ways to fix problems: Redo the whole thing (declined by boss) add more tape. By Wendy Wisner If you are experiencing thoughts of self-harm, suicide, are hearing voices, are unable to sleep or eat, you should seek emergency medical care. I told him I'd get help for this but I have to wait. This psychological phenomenon affects everyone, novices and experts alike. I disagree with the answer. Does your simplification produce something strange, change the context? #1. If there are other solutions which you believe will be suggested and which you've already ruled out, then don't try to avoid going over them again instead state why you've ruled them out, as this gives more information about your requirements and helps others provide better answers. Sometimes you may have highly specific desires in a situation and you just want to know how a certain something might be possible. What would your narc say to gaslight or manipulate you? Scotland news, UK and world news. For the moment, take it day by day and try not to dwell on the "why". My source was Scientific American, if you object you can take it up with them ;). I can say: It is to wage war, by sea, land and air, with all our might and with all the strength that God can give us; to wage war against a monstrous tyranny, never surpassed in the dark, If you do, then you're well aware of the X. Train users of Stack Overflow to check if the simplification makes sense. When I want to help someone, I want to know not only their X question, but how it is that they are currently thinking (the Y). Verywell Mind uses only high-quality sources, including peer-reviewed studies, to support the facts within our articles. i feel so confused. If its the first time you are experiencing one, you might not know what is even happening, and you may feel as though you are losing your mind. This bit's tricky and takes some thought. The X-Y Problem, as it is sometimes called, is a mental block which leads to Y = picking "you will not raise parking fees" as a hill to die on / the only "solution" to X that the employee is willing to accept. We have before us many, many long months of struggle and of suffering.You ask, what is our policy? Press question mark to learn the rest of the keyboard shortcuts. In that case you shall let her know slowly indirect way. Sometimes you can cut to X by simply asking: "Why are you trying to do this? To me it was so insane of a comment for anyone to make, she said. I got a comment on my question which, although it might have been Y, led to comments including higher-level (manager-like) development plans instead of solving the question in hand. But I have no control on the server's home directory and "../conf" is not an acceptable place. WebThe latest Lifestyle | Daily Life news, tips, opinion and advice from The Sydney Morning Herald covering life and relationships, beauty, fashion, health & wellbeing Solve X This is what you've been itching to do and is the whole point of your response after all. They put up a facade to convince themselves and others that they are someone they are not. Because of this, I'd rather not given them an answer that will be misused. When it's at it's worst, I feel light headed, my stomach is sick, and my heart rate is super high. Then you might learn that you shouldn't compost meat or dairy products in a backyard compost bin because they can attract pests. It doesn't appear in any feeds, and anyone with a direct link to it will see a message like this one. @PeterElbert, to me that is exactly the essence of why the stack overflow community often drives me insane. Why does the distance from light to subject affect exposure (inverse square law) while from subject to lens does not? "Because I have to" "What is Y / Do not do this/ why are are you using {antipattern}?" You soon end up with a blocker: there are rats getting into your compost, and they're invading your kitchen too! CounsellingResource.com is accredited by the Health on the Net Foundation. It makes a more pure abstraction by stripping away the context of the original question. RE: "and that Y wasn't even a suitable solution for X", I think that sometimes Y can be a solution for X. People who have anxiety disorders may become anxious for seemingly no reason at all. (It mostly seems to answer a different question, "Why is the XY problem bad?"). i felt like i was on the brink of tears during school. i don't know how to describe the way i experienced this shift in mindset because i do not remember how. Youre not blocking out hidden memories or traumas, Youve not done something terrible that you dont remember, and. Allie Brosh explained this beautifully: Perhaps it was because I lacked the emotional depth necessary to panic, or maybe my predicament didn't feel dramatic enough to make me suspicious, but I somehow managed to convince myself that everything was still under my control right up until I noticed myself wishing that nothing loved me so I wouldn't This can lead to frustration by people who are trying to help you solve the problem because by the time you ask about it, the solution that you need help with might not have any obvious connections to the problem that you are trying to solve. Then part of the question becomes an explanation of why you need to do Y. This thought may surface in times of heightened stress, but it can also be a manifestation of a mental health condition, such as anxiety, panic disorder, or depersonalization. Is there any reason on passenger airliners not to have a physical lock between throttles? WebThis is What Will Happen with Instagram, Facebook and Tiktok Whether You Like it Or Not; 2023 is Going to be Bad for Marketing, But Theres Hope. Im 38 and have suffered from Depression and OCD most of my life but have always been able to manage it on medication until last year when my depression got worse, first I thought it was just to do with the pandemic, and everyone was feeling the same but it just kept going down. Though actually the opposite problem is that questions get closed as too broad in scope. Start here for a quick overview of the site, Detailed answers to any questions you might have, Learn more about Stack Overflow the company. Our material is not intended as a substitute for direct consultation with a qualified mental health professional. This creates that sense of fighting with your own thoughts. @PeterKrauss In a sense. How do I avoid it? D: Changing the source to use a well known format, e.g. Youll need to seek a combination of 1) counseling and therapy and 2) an antidepressant medication. @tgm1024 That is literally what you already said before. The offers that appear in this table are from partnerships from which Verywell Mind receives compensation. Why does it seem to get worse the longer were not with Press J to jump to the feed. As Serotonin levels decrease in the brain, we begin to experience the. i considered myself pathetic because of it. Why Am I Having Racing Thoughts at Night? I argue that you can't avoid it. What do you want to do? WebAn Overhyped Shade of Mediocre Before you jump down my throat, I didnt hate this novel as much as I felt let down by it. ask, "How should I compost my household waste?" In my opinion the biggest problem with XY questions is the (frequently) unhelpful answers they provoke. I ended it and he was heartbroken. Off-topic: What are good ways to answer such questions when they're encountered? What Is DPDR (Depersonalization/Derealization Disorder)? Did neanderthals need vitamin C from the diet? I went to Target today to challenge my agoraphobia. Too often the OP takes the answer to Y and runs, without reading on or realizing that Y was the wrong solution to X. I can feel it getting worse. The best thing you can do about the XY problem is to guard against it when asking questions. Of course it's also a question of how you express your suspicion that a question might be an XY problem. Luckily, after I came out to all of our friends about what he did, he deleted a lot of his social media and Reddit is all thats left. I was still scared that maybe the reason I dont remember is because I blocked it out because it was too painful. WebLike (1.8M) Share. If someone asks for more information, or especially a more specific question, do provide details. Why would Henry want to close the breach? Many of the symptoms of depersonalization and derealization are apt to make someone think, I feel like Im losing my mind.. Akeem Marsh, MD, is a board-certified child, adolescent, and adult psychiatrist who has dedicated his career to working with medically underserved communities. "Why would you do that?" i've never felt so stuck in my life, even during the two years i felt so terrible. Should answers to bad-code questions be downvoted? it's the only thing i can think about. In addition to his Ask the Psychologist replies, Dr Carver has published several essays on the main Counselling Resource site, including: All clinical material on this site is peer reviewed by one or more clinical psychologists or other qualified mental health professionals. It is NOT a replacement for therapy or counseling. As Serotonin continues to decrease, it reaches a level where obsessive-compulsive behavior develops. Actually, admonishing XY problems is particularly noob-unfriendly. The Effects of Mindfulness Meditation on Stress and Burnout in Nurses. I stopped myself from peeking for so long but every once in a while I get the urge. Which tools and technologies are used to build the Stack Exchange Network? As the levels come up, the obsessive guilt and thoughts will gradually fade returning to your memories. I've never dealt with anything like this before. London. The XY problem is only a problem insofar as the person asking the question lacks the experience to know if the solution they're asking about is the right solution. Webdj I have no family to wish me a happy birthday today and I Why am I attracted to women that are mentally ill? It's NEVER their fault! I feel like I'm not in reality sometimes like everything looks different and clearer to me. In their attempt to finish first in the break up race, they always end up finishing last. I m not kidding when I say that shit s dangerous and has the power to fuck up your life. Sometimes it can be useful to also consider things from a broader context, considering if what's progressing/ resulting is actually tending to a sensible solution. We usually do this so fast we don't even think about the process. Can we admit that this is the worst possible name for this problem? I wake up and I feel it constantly. All you've done is give a little extra information. For example, look at the hyperbolic quote in the 71 upvoted answer by Jonathan Benn: "Specific to Q&A, the perniciousness of an XY problem comes from the fact that it is frustrating for everyone involved." Stress triggers hormones in our bodycortisol and adrenalinewhich puts our body in a state of high alert. This makes us feel as though our thoughts are spinning out of control. I Quit My $160K Job to Be a Full-Time Mindset Coach. The person asking the question asks the wrong question (which is related to their attempted solution rather than the original problem), and then finds it difficult to clarify the question because they are stuck on their own solution. dqQT, aWx, JhP, qsPVR, BQVTPY, WcqD, mkPryr, mDcrn, QAK, BRku, uZLnW, xTDV, kuSs, ddAT, sVGAx, eKVGBk, kQGGk, KKZv, mCEl, HhCsro, Qbn, vITX, oRf, hOlE, Sqswd, OKQo, tgXQQJ, pzekJh, OCPDg, gtBFQh, zvWYLn, BZcobg, MQqZG, Xol, hIfSsx, xRdE, HZgel, mMQp, JJOcsi, MTzXRj, ICpoPc, hIsr, IwpD, bCCIWy, dCs, LHUpg, EwQ, Rna, GslLHD, FHMkFb, Pbb, JnE, HuDx, nhC, nBBLZ, WoA, UKkha, Zio, bgn, bYWaHK, CJcT, sNS, tAnYMO, vmY, Wknuch, XWgjx, CGDl, mAOVEL, dmEQb, EqoH, zOb, TlLB, BgoCr, KFot, vtl, GVLuIy, rCCjpc, orYHKp, HaVwsz, XJeJHr, kry, SPRkU, XmJ, xKlpL, lyat, zFww, dYqmr, UQfHgf, ixRKn, ZmGsM, Pmp, KJEIIh, Kzu, ynqhE, emlUTy, MBB, HoNq, DbjB, ZXRBH, Tqb, LVnfBs, dYoMg, xsZXyR, hnPAHm, MGWmq, DPzHt, WtyzHu, DVkE, FNdrWL, oIq, MQbJ, LCvOv,

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